The Secret Lives of The Mediator Characters
by SweetestReject
Summary: Unexpected secrets of the mediator characters!
1. Paul Slater

_Ok...So, I forget who said it, but in one of my reviews, someone said "Paul's always a lawyer. Someone should make him a stripper or something!"_

_So...uh, I'm going to. If that's alright._

_**Warning:** Characters are slightly OOC! This is the result of far too much caffine and no boyfriend around because he's at work...Also because boredom sunk in around 10:30 last night..._

_**Summary:** Suze and CeeCee go to a male strip club to celebrate Cee's 18th birthday. Suze has already turned 18, obviously. They're about to discover a little secret about Paul..._

_**Rating:** R, to be safe._

_This is a one-shot. I hope people don't kill me..._

_Ok...And now, the story: The Secret Life Of Paul Slater_

**Suze's POV:**

"Oh My God." I said, as Cee and I stood outside in line, waiting to get into The Queen's Men, a strip club for us ladies, located about an hour outside of Carmel-By-The-Sea. CeeCee was turning 18, and when asked how she wanted to spend the evening, the somewhat-prude journalist-in-training replied with, "The Queen's Men."

I gasped. Sure, I'd heard of the place, but Cee? Really? Maybe Cee had a wild side no one knew of.

We got in a few minutes later, and sat down at a small table next to the stage area. The guy closest to us was about 19 or 20, with huge brown eyes, curly Ryan-Phillipe blonde hair, swimmer's muscles, dressed (not for long...) in a firemen's get up. "Awwwwwwww YEAH!" Cee squealed as he came closer, his very well defined six-pack shaking in time to the music as he stripped off the straps to his fireman's outfit.

I looked at her, not expecting any of it. I added my own wolf whistle and ordered a virgin drink from the sexy rock-star waiter. "So, Cee, having fun?"

"Damn straight." She giggled, giving her order of a virgin pina colada to the waiter. "It's nice to have a night away from Adam and Jesse."

Yes, since that day in the graveyard 2 years ago (almost exactly two years ago, come to think of it) Jesse and I have been dating. He also became alive shortly after our kiss in front of his headstone. At homecoming, Adam and CeeCee realized how perfect they were for each other, and the four of us have been double-dating since then. We settled into a little girl-talk before the announcer cut us off.

"Ladies, here for his last performance," at this, the regulars let out a loud, "Aww!!!!", to which the DJ continued with, "I know, it's sad, but there's no changing the mind of _Mr...Rico Suave!"_

My head snapped up at the spotlight that had appeared. No, I was not expecting Jesse to come popping out. But the mention of Rico Suave made me remember a certain shifter who has been attempting to get in my pants every chance he got. Which, thankfully, was only at school where Jesse could beat his ass. I stared at the curtain, CeeCee and I's jaws dropping identically as we saw the Sex God of Carmel appear, dressed in an outfit similar to what Jesse wore for 150 years.

You would have recognized him anywhere. The curly dark hair, the big blue eyes, the rock hard abs, and the cocky swagger were all trademarks of a Slater. More specifically, Paul Slater.

Our eyes got wide as he came closer towards us, thankfully not seeing us under the bright lights. His black pants were tighter than Jesse's had been and the shirt was cut lower to show off his chisled stomach. CeeCee and I looked at each other, each of our jaws now firmly back in place and both of us holding back fits of laughter.

We weren't laughing- or at least, Cee wasn't- when the low-cut billowly white top came sailing into the audience and landing right on Cee. She immediately snatched it up and stuffed it into her purse as many girls dove at her for a piece. We watched as Paul started to dance around one of the poles, swinging and kicking off the cowboy boots he'd worn. Thankfully, those did not have spurs and were tossed to the other side of the audience.

The only thing left were Paul's spray on pants. CeeCee and I inched forward as Paul came to our side of the stage, each of us wearing a huge grin. I crossed my legs and waggled my fingers as Paul's big blue eyes made contact, first with Cee's violet ones and then with my emeralds.

The look on his face went from one of ecstacy to pure horror in about two seconds flat as he recognized us. Our smiles grew as Paul realized that the show had to go on- and that the show included his too-tight trousers to come off.

Now, yes, I had a boyfriend whom I loved more than anything in the world. However, I also wanted to see why Paul was the sex god of Carmel-By-The-Sea.

Paul's look of horror quickly passed as he moved his hips in slow, definite circles, drawing every eye to his...ehm, area. He smirked at me, then jumped down- the spotlight following him- and proceeded to give CeeCee and I lap dances.

AND OH MY GOD...It was one of the weirdest things I've ever had done to me! Paul leaned over when he was on my lap and whispered in my ear, "See what you missed out on, Suze?"

Before I could respond, he was back up on the stage- TROUSERLESS- and I was sitting in shock as Paul's ass was in front of my face and his trousers were in my hands. It was a very nice ass, but still...

And then, the only warning for what was about to happen being the enormous applause from pleased audience members, he turned and faced us.

CeeCee and I raced out of there, red faced, grateful that school was out and we were freshman in college because that meant that we wouldn't see Paul in school on Mondy. I got into the driver's seat of my little black Ford Focus and rested my head on the steering wheel as fits of laughter exploded from both our mouths.

"He is DEFINITELY qualified for his title." I said after I'd calmed down a bit, causing CeeCee to go into convulsions again.

Both of us learned something very important that night. The Secret Life Of Paul Slater.


	2. Brad Ackerman

Many thanks to **HappyDrummerGal**, for inspiring the rest of these chapters...Instead of a one-shot, "The Secret Life Of Paul Slater" has been renamed "The Secret Lives of The Mediator Charactors" and will feature surprising secrets or something unexepected about each and every character we love to love!

Chapter 1: Paul Slater

Chapter 2: Brad Ackerman

Chapter 3: Suze Simon

Chapter 4: CeeCee Webb

Chapter 5: Jesse De Silva

Chapter 6: Adam McTavish

Chapter 7: Suze's Mom (Named Meg Ackerman, this time around)

Chapter 8: David Ackerman

Chapter 9: Jake Ackerman

Chapter 10: Andy Ackerman

Chapter 11: Peter Simon

Chapter 12: Father Dominic

In this chapter, we find out Brad is actually a pretty decent guy.

**Brad's POV:**

"Jesse, will you just stop ranting for one minute and listen to me?" I heard Suze yell from her room. Oh man, she is so busted for having that Jesse guy over!

"Susannah, how could you keep this from me?" Jesse sounded pissed beyond hell. "How can you go to that bastardo three times a week? How long has this been going on?"

"Jesse, I swear, it's only been going on for 2 weeks! And it's not like anything happened! I mean, yeah, sure, he's come on to me, but I- HEY! Don't you just up and leave in the middle of this conversation, buddy!" Suze yelled.

I figured the fight was over and went to the kitchen to get some grub. The night was a bust. Debbie called, I flirted, even though I was wishing Kelly'd pick up a phone and call. After we hung up, I blasted Marilyn Manson until Suze screeched that she couldn't hear herself think, and then I crashed until about 3 in the morning, when the love-birds (and by that, I mean Suze and this Jesse guy) woke me up.

I banged on Suze's door and told them to shut up or I'd tell her Mom. Suze yelled back that if I did that, she'd tell Dad that I'd been out partying at Kelly's, even though I was still grounded.

I figured it wouldn't hurt if her mom didn't know this time. I only had a few more days left of being grounded, I didn't want Dad to find out and tack on more time. Even still, before I left, I yelled through the door for Jesse to use a condom if he planned on screwing Suze. Only I didn't say screwing.

I'd barely gotten into my room before Suze came storming in, and then proceeded to beat the shit out of me for that comment. Man, I way underestimated her. The next morning, I had several bruises worthy of being given by the wrestling team. Some were worse than the ones from my wrestling teammates.

Basically, I was weak. Whatever. I let Kelly and Debbie fawn over me, and think it was done from sports.

Everything was fine until lunch. It still would have been fine, if I just hadn't gotten involved. Of course, if I hadn't gotten involved, after Suze recovered, she'd have beaten me again.

See, I was talking to a bunch of guys about an upcoming party (What can I say, my life revolves around booze, parties, and girls. I'm a teenage guy.) when I saw Paul Slater go over towards Suze and her friends, the gay guy McTavish and the albino, What's-her-name. Slater leaned over Suze and whispered something that made her glare at him and get up, following him to a secluded area by the graveyard. Convientantly close enough for me to overhear without them noticing.

"Suze, you haven't forgotten about our deal, have you?" Slater said smoothly.

Suze glared at him harder and said, "No. I go to your stupid lessons 3 times a week, you leave Jesse alone."

Lessons? Suze is getting tutored by Slater? Yeah, tutored in what is the question.

"And?"

"What do you mean, 'and'?" Suze asked, folding her arms over her chest. "There are no Ands."

"And you tell no one about them. No one including Jesse, Father Dom, everyone with or without a pulse." Slater smirked.

With or without a pulse? Dead guys? Huh?

"That was never part of the deal, Paul!" Suze screeched.

Paul grabbed Suze's wrist as she started to walk away, and it looked like he was grasping it pretty tight. Tight enough for Suze to look at him with fear in her eyes.

That's what made me realize this had to be serious. Suze doesn't get scared. So if Paul's making her afraid, then it had to be big.

I knew a few minutes later that it definitely was when Paul shoved Suze down onto the ground and climbed on top of her.

"Ok, man, that's so not happening!" I yelled. Paul and Suze both jumped (Well, Suze flinched. She couldn't jump well.) and Paul smirked. "Brad, you probably don't want to witness what I'm going to do to your stepsister."

"Like hell, Paul!" Suze screeched. "Dop- Brad, just go get Father Dom. I'll be fine."

Snort. Yeah. Sure, Suze. You'll be fine. "No. Paul, get off my freaking sister, and you may live to see tomorrow."

Paul laughed and refused to move. I motioned to a few of my friends who'd gathered around me, and we tackled Paul.

"Suze, get out of here, now!" I yelled. Suze scrambled up and (for once) listened to me.

"Suze, you can't run forever!" Paul yelled at her retreating back before getting a fist to his nose again. "You know I'm right!"

"Querida?" I heard Jesse's voice, but I couldn't turn around to face him. I had a brotherly duty to deal with.

"Mr. Ackerman!"

Damn. So figures Father Dom would bust in. Just when I'd gotten some blood out of Slater. I turned to face the principal, and grinned sheepishly. "Let me guess. Detention?"

Father Dom smiled. "Not quite, Mr. Ackerman."

My jaw dropped. I wasn't going to get detention for beating the shit out of Paul? Then what, expulsion? I'd better get in to RLS. I must have looked pissed, because Father Dom continued with, "Just don't kill him."

I grinned and landed a fresh punch to Paul's nose.


	3. Suze Simon

_How much do we REALLY know about Suze? She says she's not into Adam, but what happens at a party thrown by Brad again?_

_**Warning:** Suze is VERY OOC._

**Suze's POV:**

"Suze!"

I turned and saw Adam staring at me through a mess of people. I waved and went over, thankful that CeeCee hadn't been able to come to this party. Also thankful that Paul was in Seattle and Jesse had been MIA for a week or so. Ok, maybe not too thankful for that because for all I know Paul 86'd him or something.

But when Adam was in front of me, looking way too fine for my own good in this new punk/skater attire, I was thankful.

I consistantly told Cee I didn't like Adam like that, even if he was warm for me. I also consistantly told her I didn't converse with the dead, but yanno...

What CeeCee doesn't know won't hurt her. And will get me a little of Adam.

"Wanna go up?" I yelled over the hip-hop and pointing to the ceiling. Adam screamed something I couldn't hear and started for the steps.

When we were in my room and the door was securely locked, I crashed on my bed and Adam fell next to me. I was in this semi-tight low-cut red sweater I'd originally bought to seduce Jessie and tight black pants. "So, Adam, when are you going to ask Cee out?" I said, rolling over onto my stomach, giving him a glimpse of my cleavage.

Adam swallowed, his eyes darting down to my exposed chest and then coming back up quickly. "Uh, I don't know, Suze." he said, nervously, looking anywhere but at me. "I'm not into her like that."

"Ah I see. So who are you into?" I said, throwing my hair back and using all the tools of seduction I could.

Adam swallowed, looking at my chest again, and said, his voice raising slightly, "No...uh, no one."

"Bull!" I said gleefully, seeing the deceit etched in his face. "Who is it McTavish?"

"No one, Suze!"

"Bull, Bull, Bull!" I cried, slapping his knee. "Will you just tell me? Is it Kelly? Debbie? That girl in Trig who always wears that ginger-y perf-"

"It's you, OK?" Adam yelled. "There, happy now? You can go tell that Jesse guy or Paul or whoever and have a nice little-"

While Adam was ranting, I had pulled myself up and closer to him. He interrupted me, so I interrupted him.

Though, my interruption was more tongue-y. Adam was very surprised, but got into it very quickly. Especially when I pulled myself on top of him and started to run my hands through his hair. Adam was a very good kisser, and the heat got turned up very fast in our game of tonsil hockey. One minute, I'm on top of him, the next, Adam flipped me onto my back and was on top of me, kissing and biting my neck and earlobe.

"SUSANNAH!" I heard someone yell at the same time another voice went, "SUZE!"

Adam and I broke apart somewhat reluctantly. I saw Jesse standing by the window. Holding my red, low-cut, semi-tight sweater. If Adam noticed it floating in mid-air, he didn't say.

And Paul standing in my doorway. Holding Adam's black Guns N Roses tee.

Both wore identical looks of horror, anger, sadness, and other mixed emotions on their faces.

"Hey Paul." I nodded towards Jesse, remembering that Adam couldn't see him. "What's up?"

"Suze, I'm gonna go. I'll call you later." Adam said, seeing how murderous Paul looked, and probably sensing how murderous Jesse felt. He got off of me (His abs were just about as hot as Jesse's.) coincidently, giving the room a very good look at my lacy red bra. He grabbed his shirt from Paul and raced outside. I got up, grabbed my top from Jesse, and pulled it on as Paul shut the door and locked it.

"Suze?" Paul asked, sounding calm.

"Yeah?"

"I just have one question."

"Shoot." I grabbed my brush and started to fix my hair.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

I watched as my mirror shook when both guys screamed that at the same time. "Nothing. Just a little...Chat."

"Susannah, I may be out of touch with modern wording, but chatting doesn't generally involve tongues or the removal of clothes." Jesse smirked, anger still radiating off of him. "And, Susannah, that's quite a lovey pair of undergarments you have on." He pointed to the back of my red lace thong.

I shrugged and pulled my pants up. Paul was still gawking at me. "You can have me. You can even have this guy," Paul gestured to Jesse, "And yet you choose to have ADAM?!"

"Paul, just calm down. I'm not into him like that." I said, collapsing on my day bed. "It was an experiment. I thought I had feelings for Adam like what I felt for Jesse and you, but I don't."

"Excuse me?!"

"Querida, you have feelings for him?!"

I really need to learn how to shut up.

"Yes, I do, Jesse." I said, taking a deep breath. "And where the hell have you been lately?"

"With me!" I heard a high-pitched girl's voice say. In materialized a ghost girl about my age, in a cheerleader's uniform. She had long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and seemed very perky. "Jesse has been sooo great with this after-life thing. He's such a sweetie!"

"Who's this?" I asked, sitting up and glaring at her.

"I'm Madeline Austin." She bounced over to me- literally- and shook my hand. "Hi! You must be Suze, Jesse used to talk about you all the time. Then I found away to shut him up- about you anyway!"

"What does that mean?" I slid a glance at Paul, who was snickering at Jesse. I looked at Jesse and saw him red-faced with a certain member looking hard.

"OH MY GOD!" I buried my face in my pillows laughing hysterically.

"Suze, they're gone." Paul said a minute later. I wiped my eyes- I'd laughed so hard I'd cried- and said, "That is hysterical."

"Yeah. Sure." Paul said. He sat down next to me and sort of pulled my head into his lap. Paul stroked my hair and continued with, "So you have feelings for me. You admit it, finally?"

I sighed. "Yes. I do."

"Ok then." Paul leaned down and kissed me gently. "Then do you want to ditch this place, apologize to Adam, and go to my place?"

"Ok." I got up, grabbed a few things I'd need, and followed Paul out to his BMW. We stopped at Adam's, who understood and during our heavy-duty make out session, had realized he wasn't into me as much as he'd thought. We left still being friends and swore never to let CeeCee catch wind of it.

Then Paul and I went to his place.

And it was NICE.


End file.
